Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Humour’

Are You A Psycho – Part 2

November 18th, 2005 No comments

So Richard has managed to confirm what I have always known – he has psychopathic tendencies. Apparently, my boss is a psycho too. Nice! (I’ve moved my chair a little further away from hers now).

The answer to the question is quite simple: She killed her sister in the hope that the guy will be at her funeral too.

My first and only solution to the question was that the man was her sister’s new husband/boyfriend, or something like that. Everyone else who I gave the question to, seemed to come up with a similar answer to me, so at least I’m normal!

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Are You A Psycho?

November 16th, 2005 1 comment

I’m currently reading “Mary, Mary” by James Patterson at the moment, and close to the beginning there is a little test that a character performs on themselves.

Basically, the test is to see if you are a psychopath. If you can answer the question in the right way, you’re a nutter! So here goes: (incidentally, I’m not a knife-wielding maniac – contrary to what others might say)The mother of a single woman dies. At her mother’s funeral, the woman sees her most perfect man, but doesn’t ask for his name or phone number. The next day, the woman kills her sister. Why?I’ll post the answer in a couple of days, but if you want to have a guess, then leave a comment!

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Arrrgh!

September 19th, 2005 No comments

… the Microsoft SQL Server Resolution Service Stack Overflow Attack was the most common attack, accounting for 33 per cent of all attacks monitored by Symantec. Arrrgghh! Too many “ack”s!

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Hair Cut!

September 5th, 2005 No comments

OK, so at the moment, I’m in desperate need to get my hair cut. I usually like to get it done every 3 weeks, but it’s been at least six since it was last trimmed.

In a couple of weeks, I’ve got my brother’s wedding, and I’m also getting fed up with the style at the moment. Now, seeing as my hair is fairly short, and it’s 3 weeks longer than it should be, I’ve now got not better chance to change the styling.

I’m a bit lost as to what to choose, so I decided to do a little experimenting on Google Image search. First I tried some meaningless search, but it did come up with this scarey little thing – Reminds me of the “Suck-And-Cut” from Wayne’s World.

Anyway, I decided that I would search for people with the same name as me, just to see what my name sakes had come up with. I first found this ugly git, who plays Australian rules football – I won’t be copying his hair, or gormless look!

But then came across this interesting guy – I don’t like his hair cut, but I like his style!

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This is bloody brilliant!

September 3rd, 2005 1 comment

This page (about UK rappers using US “Slanguage”) is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Just check out the comments from people, especially the first “JACKSPAID”, it’s bloody hilarious! It make no sensense at all!

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A Brilliant Pun!

September 1st, 2005 No comments

Hehe! I’ve just thought of a brilliant pun: “chmod-dy moddy”.

Geek humour rocks!

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News Flash: Toyota Installs 2 Giant Testicles in Car

June 16th, 2005 No comments

OK, so may be they are not actually testicles, but they sure as hell look like it.

Giant Testicles or Airbag?

The idea is simple: Split a car’s airbag on two so the pressure is on the side of your face and your shoulders. Brilliant idea chaps, shame about the colour.

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Simply Genius

June 2nd, 2005 No comments

This, is a mighty fine prank:

Dress up as U2, go to the roof of your appartment just down the road from Madison Square Garden in New York, and play a roof-top concert, a la the real U2, on the day they are performing at MSG later that night. Get 75 of your friends, who are in on the prank to run down the road shouting “U2 are performing down there!”, put a bouncer outside the next door building to confuse people, print off fake press passes, employ a Japanese camera crew, and hey presto! One top notch prank.

Genius.

(From Richard)

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Things That Make Me Chuckle

May 12th, 2005 No comments

I saw two things yesterday that raised a smile on my face.

The first was a leaflet pinned to a notice board at work (it’s been there since I started over a year ago, but I didn’t notice this until the other day) called “Safe Manual Handling at Work” – Because those manuals can get heavy can’t they?

The second was a road sign I saw whilst driving home for work. Again, I see this sign twice on my way to and from work (on my usual route), but never really thought about it. It was one of the triangular warning signs (with just an exclamation mark in the centre), and underneath it said “Blind Summit” – I never knew there was a meeting place for visually impaired people there!

Incidentally, I’m thinking about starting a T-Shirt printing/design company (just for my friends and myself to start with, but who knows!) as I’ve been coming up with some good things to put on T-Shirts recently, and can’t find anything like them in the shops.

My favourite at the moment is one that I came up with driving to work this morning. It simply says:
100% Genius,
1% Retarded

or slightly less offensive (and significantly less subtle about the joke):
98% Genius,
3% Can’t Count

I’ve also come up with some other absolute blinders, but I don’t want to spoil the surprise. I guess I could get a Cafe-Press site up and running….

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Exploding Toads Baffle Germans

April 28th, 2005 No comments

This is quite a funny story, about toads at a certain pond in German expanding so fast and so much that they explode!

It’s blatantly going to be somebody who has discovered that you can make toads explode by feeding them baking powder or something like that, and takes a visit back there on the way home from the pub every night.

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