Armswiper.co.uk

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Web

Well, I had an experience on Saturday night! I went out with one of my friends, and some of her friends from her old job. Went to a few nice pubs and bars in Hove, and then ended up in a place called “Bar Rogue” on the sea front in Brighton.

I now know where the entire black population of Brighton go clubbing! There were so many people there wishing they were American rappers, it was hilarious. I also managed to survive the night without too much trouble.

So, in order to help anyone else out who might find themselves in this situation in the future, here’s “Mark’s Rough Guide to Not Getting A Cap in Ya Ass”:

1. Drink – It will make everything just that little bit better
2. Dance like you don’t care – You stand out like a sore thumb anyway, so you might as well enjoy it (see point 1).
3. Dance with your shoulders – Most music, you can dance by moving your hips only. To survive you need to move your shoulders in a popping motion as well. See points 1 and 2
4. Hold Your Ground – Men will dance with their back touching yours and will try to push you out the way. Stay firm. Hold your ground. They will go away eventually. May need dutch courage for this (see point 1).
5. Avoid the guys in white vests – They are huge. Or if you feel like a challenge, see point 1 first.

Mark Uncategorized Clubbing, Fun, Humour, Social Life

Although it’s completely pointless, it’s actually very impressive! (And a good interpretation too!)

A Real Life Simpsons Introduction

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Humour, TV

This must be the most amazing, and probably most lethal website I’ve ever come across. It’s simply entitled “UNWISE MICROWAVE OVEN EXPERIMENTS”. Do I need to explain more?

I’m currently trying to find a microwave…..

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Web

I’ve just realised that I haven’t blogged anything in ages.

I guess the reason is that I have been quite busy recently. Not one thing in particular, but lots of little things here and there! So in no particular order:

• I’ve hurt my shoulder rowing
• Saw “The Darkness” the other day in Brighton – Amazing
• A particularly fabulous person bought me “Alice Cooper – Classicks” – he still rocks.
• At work, I’ve been pimped-out to the Web Development department – expect a rewrite of this site soon!
• Volunteered to do the London to Brighton Bike Ride this year – should be fun!
• It’s my birthday this Friday – Rich, doesn’t seem like a year ago you came down for my last birthday! Feel like doing it this year?
• Broken my second iPod in one year
• Bought iPod shuffle (see above! Can’t break the HDD in that little bugger!)
• Plus many more things I have forgotten about!

Mark Uncategorized Blogging, Fun, iPod, Music, Rowing, Social Life

I think that this story has to be one of the funniest stories that I have ever read.

It involves Penguins, hoax websites, swimming pools, a house, a big refund and some damn fine determination.

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Humour, Web

I’ve just come across this website: Stuff On My Cat, which I had initially assumed was some womans weak blog about her cat “Honey”, but as it turns out, it’s a bloody hilarious site.

Basically the idea is this: Put stuff on a cat – it can be anything. Take picture. Post to website.

Now, from my experience of putting things on my pet cats over the years, it doesn’t take long for cats to “shrug” these things off, with a mean time of about 5 seconds before they end up on the floor. Some of them must have been sooo hard to take pictures of – I can only admire their dedication.

Here’s some links to some of my favourites:

• Bionic cat Sammy reflects upon her life before the operation – I remember having this “Construx” stuff as a kid!
• A little candle light to set the mood… – I love the way that the candlestick’s weight is squashing the cats face!
• Staying warm this winter in style – The look of confusion on this cat’s face is brilliant
• Beer, cat, bingo… – The look on this cat’s face is just brilliant – “Yeah, alright. Very funny, I’m a table. Now get it off”

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Humour, Web

Just stumbled across this story on “The Register“: French woman tried to pop out for mid-flight ciggie

Jesus.

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Humour, Opinion

Have a look at this collection of signs, done by a guy from Brighton. These kind of sign tickle my sense of humour.

My personal favorites are numbers 4, 5 and 6 (in that order).

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Humour

Marshmallow Gun! I’ve got to make me one of these! (Via)

Mark Uncategorized Fun, Web