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Dancing Like a white boy!

Well, I had an experience on Saturday night! I went out with one of my friends, and some of her friends from her old job. Went to a few nice pubs and bars in Hove, and then ended up in a place called “Bar Rogue” on the sea front in Brighton.

I now know where the entire black population of Brighton go clubbing! There were so many people there wishing they were American rappers, it was hilarious. I also managed to survive the night without too much trouble.

So, in order to help anyone else out who might find themselves in this situation in the future, here’s “Mark’s Rough Guide to Not Getting A Cap in Ya Ass”:

  1. Drink – It will make everything just that little bit better
  2. Dance like you don’t care – You stand out like a sore thumb anyway, so you might as well enjoy it (see point 1).
  3. Dance with your shoulders – Most music, you can dance by moving your hips only. To survive you need to move your shoulders in a popping motion as well. See points 1 and 2
  4. Hold Your Ground – Men will dance with their back touching yours and will try to push you out the way. Stay firm. Hold your ground. They will go away eventually. May need dutch courage for this (see point 1).
  5. Avoid the guys in white vests – They are huge. Or if you feel like a challenge, see point 1 first.
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